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Marriage Not Dating Episode 11 | Dramacool


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We cannot defeat racism if we continue to allow cultural biases govern who we love or who we let our children marry. In an attempt to escape the quarantine daze, I started watching Netflix’s new reality series, Indian Matchmaking , about the often-misunderstood world of arranged marriage. At first, I really enjoyed watching and somethings search for love and marriage in this traditional manner.

My friends and I laughed at snobby Aparna, cringed at the scenes with “mama’s boy” Akshay, and cried when sweet Nadia’s second suitor turned out to be an unapologetic “bro”. By the end of the eight-episode series, however, I felt nauseous. Unlike some of my white friends who watched on carefree, I was disturbed by the obvious displays of classism, ethnocentrism, and colourism in the show. Throughout the show, I could not help but notice how these ” isms” guided the matchmaker as she tried to find “suitable” potential spouses for her clients.

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In addition to searching for those with distinguished careers, and a slim body type, she was always on the hunt for “fair” spouses. I was left with a bad taste in my mouth as the show closed with a bubbly Indian-American woman casually saying she is looking for a husband who is not “too dark”. And when I say dating, I mean dating -to-marry, because as an observant Muslim, I only pursue romantic relationships with one goal in mind: marriage.

I encounter the same annoyances found within Western dating culture Muslim women too get ghosted, mosted , and harassed , but due to cultural baggage that is often conflated with Islamic tradition, I am more likely to come head-to-head with sexism, ageism, and racism. The last one of which I suffer from the most. No matter which path I take to seek marriage – matchmakers, apps like Minder, or chaperoned blind dates – I am constantly met with the sickening reality that I am less likely to be chosen as a potential partner b ecause of my background as an Afro-Latina American born to convert parents.

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